Sadly, I could not give you the Ohio 5 interview that we all wanted, because Ms. Mooney foolishly decided to have a baby instead, which ate up all of her time. But that's not going to stop me from talking about her, because she is so funny, and more importantly, she's a transplanted Buckeye.

That's right, Megan Mooney is from Ohio! Don't you get that special little glow when you learn that someone you like/appreciate/think is brilliant is from your area? I always do. And mwa-ha-ha - just to put the cap on it, she's from Cleveland! She even went to John Carroll. Love it. I like to picture her originally thinking that the Improv was the pinnacle of comic existence, and now that she's a professional comic living in Los Angeles, she occasionally thinks back and says, "Are you kidding me?"

Let's see, Megan's done college tours, she's done Comedy Central specials, she's done the US Comedy Arts Festival, and in September 2007, she'll be performing on a cruise! (Is it just me, or do all celebrities now occasionally go on cruises to do whatever they do? It's probably just me.) And supposedly her website promises that she'll come to your college if you ask her. By the way, a tip: if you click on the contact button, an email will pop up addressed to her with a subject that already says "You're Hot, Megan!"

Megan, if you're reading this, I'm sorry we could never do the interview! But I wanted to brag about you anyway. Go, Mooney!

Seriously, I have made tonight's viewing of Miss America into an event! I made dip (so that way even if the girls on tv can't eat something good, I can), I am wearing comfortable pants with a brand-new top (so I look good too), and I have prepared to be entertained inadvertently.

Honestly, I am all for these girls, because, let's face it, I don't have the energy to have a talent and perform it! On stage, live and in person, in front of judges! My only talent is baking, and that's not really a talent - I can read a recipe and buy groceries, and somehow put the two together. But I certainly can't do it onstage!

Plus, I can't do anything with Mario Lopez staring at me.

But come on! Miss Ohio is on, and she's looking pretty! (She's a Cleveland girl, buddy. We can win stuff.)

FINAL RECAP: Well, Miss Ohio didn't even place! I am wildly disappointed. And there wasn't even a Midwestern representation after Miss Pennsylvania got booted out. Miss Georgia won the night, I am sorry to say - her interview answer was terrible, and I think the judges should be slapped for it.

I do not often to go to Akron, even though I do have family that lives near there - thankfully, it's not like they're on campus! And I have to say, I remembered Saturday night why I don't go to Akron more often: it takes forever to get there. Seriously! It's something like 45 minutes to an hour away from Cleveland, but let me tell you, it felt much longer.

But I had a big plan! Sidekick Girl had gotten hired to do a gig at Max McQ's bar, billiards, poker and apparently stand-up comedy club, and as a valiant friend, I wanted to support her. So I also dragged along another friend Kathleen, and we all sucked it up and bundled up and headed out to Akron. Max McQ's, I found out, is in a quaint area of Akron called the Valley, and I'm not going to lie - I still don't really know what that means. What does it mean? How much of a valley are we talking about here? I think it's because it's part of the larger Cuyahoga valley region, but I can't find this out for sure. Any Akron residents reading, please enlighten me. But surprisingly, Max McQ's had great martinis (and the drinks were so big, they were called maxtinis on the menu), and the comics worked hard against the poker game in one part of the room, basketball games on tv, and the lure of the pool tables next door. Rough.

So after a rousing hour or so of comedy at Max McQ's, we were still alert and looking for fun. So we did what all twenty-somethings in Akron do: we went downtown, towards the University, and hit the street of bars! We ended up at Thursday's Lounge, which had dancing. And while it took a really long time to fill up (what else was going on on a Friday night in Akron?! I kid!), the DJ had great choices and it was nice to kind of just get and shake it up while not wearing a giant winter coat.

Akron, I apologize. I assumed that with an hour's drive, there was nothing fun there! I was so wrong.

Here is the actual cartoon of James Thurber's story, Unicorn in the Garden. This was released by Columbia Pictures UPA in 1953. Humorist James Thurber, a Columbus native, who also gained fame as a writer and cartoonist for The New Yorker in the 1920s and 1930s, still influences Ohio's literary scene. His boyhood home, The Thurber House, is now a writing establishment that sponsors author series talks, workshops, a writer-in-residence program and a contest that is dear to my heart, The Thurber Treat Humor Writing contest. I was one of last year's winners.

Buying chocolate, flowers, or those little message heart candies are fine if there's no time to plan ahead for Valentine's Day, but consider some other options. If you use your senses to lead the way, you might come up with some interesting ways to celebrate love. Or a deep like. Or an "I kind of like you." Here are some starting places:

Sense of smell- With Ohio's botanical gardens' conservatories creating a haven against the freshly arrived winter's chill, head to one of them. Breathe in the fragrances of the jungles, orchid gardens and mountainous regions of the world. So, what if you can't go to a tropical island with your honey this year? At Krohn Conservatory, Franklin Park Conservatory, and Cleveland Botanical Garden you can pretend.

If eating is a way to your loved one's heart, head to a cooking school where you can spend time together--plus taste your efforts. Dorothy Lane Market Cooking School in Dayton has wonderful options. Many restaurants, like Handkes in Columbus also have classes. Here is a Shaw Guides website with links to several of them.

If the sense of sound is your fancy, head to a symphony concert. You can engage your sense of sight as well since many of Ohio's symphonies perform in the most beautiful buildings in the state. In February, the Columbus Symphony Orchestra, the Cincinnati Chamber Orchestra, the Akron Symphony , The Youngstown Symphony and the Toledo Symphony have concerts.

For the soothing sense of touch, get a couple's massage. The Marengo Institute, a mind body spa that originated in California but now has Cleveland and Columbus locations, has a Couples Delight Package.

Another option for the sense of sight is an art museum. Here is the botanical garden and art museums page of Ohio Travelers.com to find one you may not have thought of before.

Oscar season is here and I have a job to do. Last year I was one of the winners of the Columbus Dispatch's Columbus Academy of Motion Pictures Pickers (CAMPP) contest. As a winner, I promised to see all the movies nominated in the major categories. Some movies I rented; some I saw for a bargain, and the rest I saw at a matinee price. I just received an email to see if I am interested in being part of CAMPP this year. You bet! I am lining up my strategy to figure out where to see the movies I haven't seen yet in time for my deadline.

Considering one reason I was picked for this contest is that I'm a movie fiend, if it's one thing I know , it's Columbus's theaters. Here are my favorites, but not necessarily in this order. Depending on my mood, depends on where I'll head.

Studio 35 Cinema and Draft House. I recently saw "The Queen" and "The Departed" here. Great movie going because you can order beer, wine and stellar pizza from Clintonville Pizza next door. I also like this place because it's a local business and it has a certain personality that can't possibly be matched by a commercial venture.

Carriage Place Movies 12 and also, The Screens at the Continent. - What can I say? They're cheap and the quality is not any less because they are movies for a bargain. The last movie I saw at The Continent was "Flushed Away" (not an award nominee). The last movie at Carriage Place was "Pirates of the Caribbean- Dead Man's Chest."

The Drexel Grandview or Drexel East. Who cares? The movies at either are usually high caliber and interesting. The last movie at the Drexel East? "The Oh in Ohio." In Bexley? I can't remember.

The Arena Grande- A winner for its easy to get to location, great seats, easy and cheap parking and the fact it helps pull folks downtown. There is a sense of importance about the place. Last year I went to the Academy Awards night here. The Academy Awards are broadcast live on a big screen, plus there's food, raffles and a contest to see who names the most winners. Proceeds go to charity.

With so many great movies out there to see, don't stay home. Head to a silver screen. If you go to a Drexel Theatres Group theater, pick up a free Movie Lovers Pass to earn points for free goods.

It's not just the fact that a glass of wine costs $1.50 that gets me to Larry's Bar on a Monday night a few times a year-although, that's not a bad reason. I go to Larry's because of the poetry and because hearing people read their poetry makes me think of word choices. There's a mysterious quality that I enjoy. The question, "How do people see the world and how does this translate into words that have a certain sound and meaning-a sense of weight?" Or weightlessness if the poem is meant for whimsy and nothing more.

At Larry's Bar (voted one of the best "dive bars in Columbus, 2006) at 2040 High Street, in the fall, winter and spring, Poetry Forum at Larry's offers some of the best poetry anywhere. The poets who are the featured readers are contest winners and published in some prestigious publications. Some even have their own books, and not ones they Xeroxed off themselves, but ones a publishing company actually said yes to. These poets are the type that people like me sometimes envy if one is given over to envy. I'm not. But if one did envy published poets, you might envy them because they stuck with their craft and have publications to prove it. The Poetry Forum gives them a chance to actually get their poems out there and into the air where poems are meant to be. Poems shouldn't be trapped unread on a page in a book-forgotten or unclaimed in a book that no one bought.

The Ohio Arts Council even recognizes the importance of the Poetry Forum and has funded it since 1985. If you go, once the featured poet is finished, you can read your own poetry during open mike, or just listen like I do. Steve Abbott, the person who is the ringleader of sorts, is a hospitable emcee. You'll feel welcome. It's a great way to find out what is going on in people's minds. There are so many ways to look at the world and so many versions of a life worth having.

Here is the schedule through March 3. Don't hold me to this though since this may have shifted thanks to the OSU football game. The forum was postponed or canceled for that day, so that may have shifted things.

Jan 24 Helyn Dell
Jan 31 Mikel Romine
Feb 07 TBA
Feb 14 Jeanne Desy
Feb 21 Erica DeWeese
Feb 28 Jeff Jarosch
Mar 01 TBA

Murad Shorrab and Ryan Clausen are two of the Youngstown area's best stand-up comedians these days. I first saw Murad and Ryan perform at one of the Oakland Theater's Open Stage nights in August and have looked forward to seeing them perform at any event ever since.

Their comedy is definitely geared more towards the impolite, constantly pushing the envelope of our culture's contemporary tastes and manners, so with that said, they're not the sort of act you'd take your children to see. But if you're looking for a fun night out with adult friends, you should definitely try to catch one of their acts. These guys are, as my own favorite comedienne (Amy Sedaris) always says, hi-LAR-ious.

Future dates for shows include February 1st, March 1st and April 5th, 10pm at Mojo's Bar and Grille 5423 Mahoning Avenue in Austintown, Ohio. It's an 18 and over crowd, and the cost of admittance will be five dollars.

Take a look at Murad's comedy website for more information, and enjoy the little commercials for the show he's posted there as well.

Regardless of what is happening with Ohio's school reform issues such as whether or not every high schooler needs to take 4 years of math or should a public school in one neighborhood look like a mini-college with all the bells and whistles while another can barely scrape enough funding together to get the toilet's fixed, it's great to see creativity and excitement still at work in its public schools. As a person who has taught high school and middle school myself, bravo to the teachers who help students nurture their muses

The Portsmouth High School video "Portsmouth Back" is a stellar example of what can happen if people put test scores aside for a bit to allow magic to occur. This doesn't mean a school doesn't think about test scores, but there is room for endeavors outside of the box. The boys who made this video for the VH1 "Show Us Your Junk" contest must feel at home in their school. After all, they filmed everywhere in it, it seems. Besides seeing a pretty neat video, I see school harmony at work. The principal had to agree with it and the teachers featured either agreed to stay after school or give up some class time for the greater good. The students involved also had to agree that this project was a worth the time. I've had students make films before and it is a lot of work. The minutes on the video took hours to put together I would imagine.

It's not just the video that makes me happy. Thinking about people working together makes me happy. The teachers in this video are folks I'd like to know. People who say to a young person, "Sure, I'll help out," and look like they enjoy it. The students in this video are folks I'd like to know. They are smiling; they look like they are having fun, and they look like school is not the worst place to be. They also look like they treat each other pretty well. It's a joy to teach kids who act this way.

Years from now when their 10th reunion marches on to the 20th and on to the 30th and so on, it's not Portsmouth's test scores (which are good) that students will remember fondly, it'll be this video. The tests will be long shredded, but I can bet this video will still be around.

Here is the link the WSAZ News Channel 3 news clip on YouTube about the stir this video has caused in Portsmouth. According the newscast, the video is highlighting the new high school building that the students and teachers are mighty proud of.

Watch this video. Seriously. If there is any indication that there are wonderful, interesting and creative people out there, this is it. Sean Gowdy (film guy and editor) and Sean Chase (main singer and performer) of Portsmouth, OH made this video parody of Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back." Their version is "Portsmouth Back." This is slick and includes a huge cast of characters including students and teacher's at Portsmouth's high school. It's currently in VH 1's "Show us Your Junk" contest. This video is in the Top 3. I don't know if the contest is over yet, but if any video beats out this one, I'd be surprised. This is a gem.

Listen, I know you're not going to be doing anything on Thursday January 11 in downtown Cleveland. Come on! You know that you have a free evening, and I think you should come spend it with me, and with the Rockstar comics. This is late notice, I know, but I'd like to pretend I have the power of the Internet enough that when I point out an entertaining, fairly cheap evening of comedy that you might like to come to it!

Plus, there will be some dynamite entertainment! Carrie Callahan will be hosting the evening (she'll do a little bit at the beginning and then introduce comics in their turns). A variety of local funny people will be there, including Jim Tews, Joe Howard and Bill Squire. Headlining (we think) the event will be young Erik Myers, who was at the Cleveland Improv only yesterday! He apparently gave a hilarious performance, although doing a quick search for him on the Internet gave me nada. So come on!

One of my cousins made a horror film with a friend years ago that actually sold for a tidy sum. It was called Hallowedween or some such thing. When I came across video clips of the horror film Close Encounters of the 4th Kind, Infesation from Mars filmed in Sandusky, Ohio I was hooked. This clip is under the heading "Martian Causes Stampede in Sandusky, OH."

After discovering the movie clips from the film, Close Encounters of the 4th Kind: Infestation from Mars, I became curious about it, particularly since the person who posted it on YouTube mentioned that it is an award winner. Yes, that is true. The film won the Feature Award for the Best of Festival category at the Berkley Video and Film Festival Awards in 2005.

Besides the clip I posted, you can find others. One of them I started to post, but changed my mind since the actors said words that might not be appropriate for a more family friendly website. Not hard core type words -- more like stuff middle-schoolers who are not yet jaded might say. Here's the title of the video clip if you want to find it on YouTube yourself. "Sandusky Ohio SWAT Guys Talking Trash." There is also a video of poor SWAT guys getting attacked by Martians at Cedar Point. It's dark, but it is obviously Cedar Point because of the roller coaster.

This movie kind of reminds me of The Blob, that Steve McQueen cult classic. If you're interested in finding out more about it, here's a Toledo Blade article about the filming of the movie, an overview of the film from a body-building website and a movie data base that lists the stars and director.

I am always so behind the times - although that's not really kind to myself! Isn't it more along the lines that I was just not away, and now I know more about more cool things to do in Northeast Ohio? Yeah, let's look at it in that light. It makes me seem more on top of things and less clueless.

The Parma Theater (located on Ridge Road in Parma, Ohio, of course) has been showing Bollywood hit movies fairly regularly, as has the Solon Cinemas (Solon, Ohio). Bollywood, for those of you even more out of touch with what's hip and worldly than myself, is the cinematic glory of Mumbai (what used to Bombay), India. Bollywood films find huge audiences anywhere that there are Indian immigrants, who enjoy the glamorous colorful picture of life in the extremely lovely subcontinent of India. The films are also quite popular with non-immigrants - I myself am a big fan! I just recently re-watched Bride and Prejudice again, a Bollywood interpretation of the British Pride and Prejudice, and it's so much fun. I love it!

This weekend, the Parma Theater and Solon Cinema will be screening Guru, which stars Aishwarya Rai. Rai has been described as the most beautiful women in India, and frankly, I think she could be the most beautiful woman in the world. She is incredibly glamourous, and a stunning actress.Check out the showtimes here - and don't worry, there will be English subtitles.